.2021.

Raja and I

. . .

. . .

for sale: dextrose bag, never used. - never | not ernest hemingway

[ my drama king until the end ]

. . .

Bahag Hari at Habag Hari

・・・

i love watching you sleep.

i love your neck on my knees.

but i hate your dirty jumps on me.

i miss your superman paws.

nothing compares to you.

・・・

my dogs died in april. and i carried april for the rest of the year.

・・・

"If silence is the pathway to mindfulness and awakening, what is the purpose of sound? And what is sacred sound?

Well, silence can be thunderous. Just like a black color is the absorption of all colors---so silence can absorb all sounds. It's a great sound---a sacred sound. So in our practice, we practice that deep silence within, of the mind, of all the perceptions, the thoughts, and also the quietness of the body. So there's solidity, stability, spaciousness as the foundation. And that's where other sounds can arise. If we are always in chaos or moving around, those are just noise. That's not sacred sound.

So how would you define sacred sound? What would sacred sound be? Or what is a sacred sound---if there is one?

I just did. When you take a step and you're completely in oneness with Mother Earth and you don't have the division between you and Mother Earth---nature and all that is---that is very deep sound. And there's no limitation to it. And from there, it can spring a song, a poem, a smile. A smile can be a beautiful sound."

- 1:15:13 | Walk with Me

・・・

when i asked for a colorful year, i didn't know it would be a meeting of all colors---black.

.2020.

           how it started:                  how it ended:

   

.basura.day.

9:32 PM

All my things are begging to leave. Either damaged or broken or just malfunctioning. I'm there. After all, it's First of July. Tomorrow, work again. And my water pipe is still disconnected. And my shoes are all about to break. And my spirit is still down. Then again, it's First of July. One day at a time. For now, be brave getting by. :)

01 July 2018

.o.r.

this was exactly my argument. this was exactly what i never wanted to happen. i thought i was safe. but it happened anyway. now my anxiety is back. and all other else. every day is a battle with breathing. and i'm failing at it. inhale. exhale.

i thought i was safe.

i know this vacation wouldn't cure anything. but i'm hopeful to let go of even just a tiny bit of this darkness. one day at a time. back to square one. breathe.

.i.t.girl.

just realized that all three of my favorite films tackle the digital world.

dear catherine, so what if it's a tuesday night? i know kung fu!

.two.beds.and.three.coffee.machines.

let me kick off my birthday week by just listening to Savage Garden.

for this week is about blooming, burning, and probably burping.

a whole lot of burping!!!

.twentieth.century.wolf.

just celebrated my sixth and our eleventh. if that isn't nice, i don't know what is. no candles, no anything. just enough light showing me all is well.