.jitters.republic.

hours before my story was discussed in class, i was having too much jitters. i was so nervous because i had no idea what's going to happen. i love my story and i was expecting the class to love it too. it is a story that entails thinking after all. but i was wrong. i think they appreciated more the easy-read stories. they didn't like it as much because it wasn't an easy read. they weren't able to connect because i veered away from the usual direction. they were expecting it to have the formula ending. but the thing is, i was trying to avoid formula stories. they also didn't get my story. they were kinda lost. they didn't notice the details and clues and deeper meanings. maybe, it was my fault. but still, i'm going to do it my way and not everybody else's way. i didn't want to spoon-feed everything to readers. i wanted the readers to think, notice details, and read all over again. i wanted to have a story that gets more beautiful and unfolds more in every reading. i wanted my story to be like The Matrix trilogy, Sofia Coppola's Somewhere, Wong Kar Wai's Fallen Angels, and Kurt Vonnegut's Where I Live. i remember not understanding them the first time i watched/read them. but when i watched/read them again, they became my favorites because they made me think about details and appreciate representations. and i wanted my story to be like that- something worth opening all over again not because it wasn't understood but because the readers missed out some details and needed another round to figure things out.